TO THE BRIDE-TO-BE

Now you may think I ain't real bright,
I talk too much and look a sight.

But I've been hitched for quite a spell,
And I've kept my hubby hale and well.

I suspect you've had advice from others,
Aunts and cousins, friends and Mothers.

But  I'll bet they ain't been through the mill,
The way I have, so just sit still.

Now pull up close and lend a ear,
Cause you need to learn some facts, my dear.

You gotta feed, em lots of spuds,
And keep them buttons on their dudes.

You gotta baby, em a sight,
Cause if you don't, they'll pick a fight.

Now I don't mean a roll and tumble,
But they sure can pout and they sure can grumble.

He'll eat cold biscuits a time or two,
Or too hard beans, or too burned stew.

You need to get a good cook book,
Not just to read, but learn to cook.

Now it won't be long till you get wise,
And he'll be as proud as other guys.

Then you'll be glad you learn to do,
All the things I've told you to.

So jump right in and do your best,
And let Alka-Seltser do the rest.

AUTHOR: Margaret Shankland